Heartbroken… yet again

Emotionally exhausted, mentally depleted, fucking sick of it all… probably doesn’t begin to depict how Nigerians are currently feeling. We’re in a toxic relationship with our own country.

If you read my blog post about the nationwide protests against police brutality in the country, you would most likely understand my anger and pain right now. I really hoped that the next time I came on here to write about this, things would be better. I’m afraid it hasn’t. It became a horror story.

If we thought the government was bad before, we know now that they are pure evil. The devil himself resides in the hearts of these lot rent- free. It’s the only logical explanation for why a government would tactfully ambush peaceful protesters and send its fucking army to murder them. SOLDIERS KILLING UNARMED CIVILANS ASKING FOR THEIR RIGHT TO LIVE.

Let that sink in.

It’s not just bad that they would hate us enough to do this, nobody is taking accountability for this genocide. The governor says its ‘forces beyond him”, the president won’t even acknowledge the deaths. He kept mute about the disarray in the country for so long, only to break his silence with fifteen minutes of tone deaf nonsense and zero empathy. So did the army just come of their own volition to kill people?

They said the live videos of the massacre were ‘photoshopped’, and there were no casualties, even though the world could see the evidence of it LIVE on the internet. Make it make sense, please. Do they really think they can gaslight a whole country?

It’s the same government sending thugs to hijack protests, killing off citizens in cold blood for daring to question their terrible governance and ah, the most ridiculous part, hoarding Covid-19 palliatives meant for the people while they starved.

The lockdown due to the pandemic was so rough. People lost their jobs. Food prices skyrocketed. Several families could barely afford to feed themselves thrice a day. Meanwhile, local governments were hoarding food meant for the people in warehouses, for months! Enough food to feed whole towns were rotting in there, why? What manner of greed and wickedness is this for heaven’s sake?

The President said SARS was dissolved and this very day, there were reports of them still being on the road harassing people. They seem to have no control over their Police Force, yet they pull out the big guns when it comes to unharmed protesters.

Sigh.

Nigeria is not for the weak, man. This country will break your spirit if you’re not strong enough. I’m so sick of it all.

And yet, as horrendous as the whole situation is, I’m still foolish enough to hope for better. This fight is far from over and now that the youth know the power they wield to make things change, we simply cannot give up. It’s our responsibility now to become actively involved in politics and gradually dethrone these greedy old men so we can build the government we deserve. It will be a long walk to freedom but we must get there no matter how hard they try to silence us.

If this post seems all over the place, I’m sorry I’m unable to properly convey the turmoil of the past week over one blog post. It’s just… too much right now.

For more details about the Lekki democide earlier this week, here’s the link on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lekki_massacre

To my fellow Nigerians reading this, how are you coping this period? I really hope you’re safe and well. If like me, you just need to vent about it all, let’s do so together in the comments.

Please hang in there and stay strong, this madness shall pass too. May God see us through this and let the victory be ours at the end. Don’t forget to take time off to recharge and recoup when you need to. You don’t have to feel guilty for staying off social media for the sake of your mental health. Anything that can keep you sane is allowed this period, dear friends.

My heart goes out to all the families who lost a loved one in this fight. I know nothing I say can make it better. May God console your hearts and grant you the mental fortitude to pull through this. May the souls of the fighters we lost rest in power.

26 Comments Add yours

  1. MissBluw says:

    With everything that’s been going on with my family and this country, I’m in the midst of a mental breakdown. I’m surprised I can still hold my shit together, though barely. Lord knows how many times I’ve let the water works loose. But I still have hope. However little, it’s there

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Yinda says:

      Honestly it’s so wild. I’ve cried severally myself. The only way I can keep my sanity is by staying off social media and distracting my mind with movies and books. Crying also helps. It makes no sense to lock in the strong emotions flying around.
      Hope no matter how little is important. It’s what keeps us going. Please try to stay calm.
      I pray for the mental fortitude to pull through this hard time for us all. ❤️

      Like

      1. MissBluw says:

        ❤❤❤🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬

        Like

  2. Wairimu Maina says:

    It breaks my heart too, to hear all these going on in your country. I’m sincerely sorry for the pain, failing government system, for everything. Amidst everything, resilience is my solemn prayer for y’all. You are stronger than you know hunny. And No you are not foolish to hope for better, you are hopeful and that’s not foolish of you. You shall raise up stronger and beat the monstrous scales going on in your country. For now, keep the hope alive 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yinda says:

      Thanks so much for the kind words 😩❤️ Resilience is the only thing that has kept us going all these years. I really hope we rise above this and things get better as very soon. We deserve better. I’ll keep hoping. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. nianni says:

    As in. The country matter don tire me finish. I don’t even know what to do or think anymore. In as much as I have hope for a better Nigeria I’m tired of waiting and thinking of when it will finally arrive because we are suffering in this country. Especially if you are not rich.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      It’s wild sis. I’m fed up. But all we can do is keep hoping and play our part by voting in 2023 which seems like forever away 😭 Wahala for who no collect PVC.
      May God help us. 😪

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Toyin says:

    Omo x one million is the only that thing I can say when I think about it. 😭We have suffered in this country

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      Girl, ‘omo’ makes total sense 😩

      Like

  5. Erime BB says:

    It has been so tough sis. I have cried so many times. I hate feeling so helpless😭 nothing can truly describe how what we’re going through. A government that kills its citizens with no remorse and apologizes to the perpetrators of the evil for their inconveniences.😭😭 God, please! I’m angryyy

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ellie says:

    I’m so sorry about what you’re all going through. I don’t know what to say to make you feel better too. Just have to keep hoping and praying for better ☹️

    Like

  7. Please stay safe. You are strong. I will keep you in my prayers ❤️ XO

    Like

  8. What’s happening in Nigeria is so sad and our hearts go out to you. I have seen some of the pictures circulating on social media, so hard to look at. I imagine it is worse to live through but Keep Hope alive! You will get through this and u believe for a better future for you as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yinda says:

      It really is a terrible thing we’re going through. But we’re hopeful that things will change if we keep pushing. Thanks for the kind words ❤️

      Like

  9. Whew! It’s seriously sickening that the government would take wey single one of us for fools in this big nation.

    If anything, I’ve been very happy with the recent lootings of warehouses keeping Covid-19 palliatives. Can you even imagine that some of the food had already started spoiling? How annoying?!

    I trust that we’d get to the bottom of the Lekki massacre sooner than later. A lot of foreign eyes are on it for it to be swept under the carpet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      The government hits new lows everyday in this country, you’d think you’ve seen it all until a new crisis arises. I’m positive they’ll still get what’s coming to them.
      We just have to get to the bottom of the killings. They cannot be allowed to get a way with it. I’m happy the situation is getting all the international attention it is now. Public embarrassment is the only language they seem to understand. Smh.

      Like

  10. Don’t worry please. Stay safe and stay strong dear!♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      Thank you ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Omowunmi says:

    I am livid at the situation of things in Nigeria.. The hope for change, good governance and peace are things I can’t give up on. Taking time off social media to doing stuff relaxing is a must.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      It is really. Even now, it’s sad to see that the bad news isn’t ending. It’s one chaos to the next. Our mental health is bound to take a hot if we don’t take care of ourselves.

      Like

  12. Janis says:

    Hope things are better by now…
    Always remember, better things are coming!
    Hoping with you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yinda says:

      I wouldn’t say things are better yet as the country is still honestly a mess. However things are calmer than they were. I try to stay positive and hopeful everyday. Thanks for the kind words💕

      Liked by 1 person

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